every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize