Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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