you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I enjoy the company of your penis
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
