why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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