you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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