I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
