You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
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We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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