so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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