She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
