i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i out mim tonsoeep
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
