You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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