You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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