last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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