someone threw a dead crab at me
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize