dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize