I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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