we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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