just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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