i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
