Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize