I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
