I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
