You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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