dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
