I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
