I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
