come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
