So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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