i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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