Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
