Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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