His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
