The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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