nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
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I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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