I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
