I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
