East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
