Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
sex in a hospital.. check
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
