Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You need Xanax blowdarts
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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