you traded sex for a burrito?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
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Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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