Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
