Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
it's like heaven, but drunker
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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