Don't make out with my wife yet
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
