the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
whose parrot is this?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
