NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
