i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
