yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me