never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
