Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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