idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
