google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
