Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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