And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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