yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
