theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
