I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
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Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
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holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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