just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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