Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
